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Settle into the discomfort, the pose to life parallel

Updated: Mar 19, 2023

You know how you settle in to a pose such as Child’s Pose or Extended Child’s Pose and it feels just so amazing! The stretch across you lower back, wide knees to settle in for open hips and your finger pressing away from your hips and knees opening up your shoulders. So rewarding! But what happens when you sit in that pose for a little bit longer? Even the most restoring and gentle pose can bring you to your edge (when any more it too much and any less not enough). When you breathe into that edge, stay there, you are challenged to release and settle in just a little bit deeper. Releasing all the tensions, expectations and bondage that may be holding you back.

I see more and more parallels to life as I settle into these moments through my practice. The simple gentle moments that are held without release can bring you such instant pleasure and happiness. But what happens when we settle into those moments as they begin to feel uncomfortable. We may want to put up some armor to protect the unsettled feelings or use our best escape technique and run like the wind.


I am going get vulnerable and raw with you all for a moment. This is NOT the place I like to live AND I know I’m not alone in this so I’m hoping through my vulnerability somebody who needs to hear real and raw to know they’re not alone will.


Bear with me on the backstory.

Almost six years ago my marriage of 16 years ended. I got married young, had children young, had no idea who I was or how to be in a healthy relationship. I didn’t communicate or honor the feelings that were mine. They were uncomfortable so I hid them or buried them. All of this was compounded by addiction.


Fast forward about four years.


I had done some good therapy (notice I say done... that’s hard work) and sat in quandary as people would say to me, ”how are you single?”. So I decided to try the dating pursuit initiated through the dreaded app (insert app of your choice, I’ve tried a handful).

This is where I began settling into the pose. To be entirely honest, I loved hearing that I was such a catch and anyone would be lucky to have me. They were statements of affirmation that I wanted to hear. But as I sat in those moments that felt so good and easy for a little bit longer, the discomfort and reality of me hiding my unhealed heart brought me to the edge. If I pushed much further it would be too much, but any less would leave me wanting more. As I sat in that discomfort I realized I was still single because I wasn’t ready not to be. I still had work to do. Although my mind thought otherwise my heart was wise.


Here’s where the power of the pose comes in. It’s in the release and the opening up after you use the breathe of life given to you and your focus to settle in, hold fast and let go. Oh.My.Gosh! Letting Go!

So today, I’m sharing this with you all because I’m sitting in an uncomfortable feeling after the pleasurable, gentle, and rewarding release that comes in the initial moments of [insert challenge of choice]. I’m wrestling with the excitement I allowed myself to feel meeting someone who I had easy conversations with, honest dialogue, opening up to him about my excitement, after reading his reciprocated messages. Now comes the discomfort. The ghostly silence. What the heck happened?!!


Here’s where I want to armor up, use my best defensive exit technique and get out of the discomfort. But what I’m going to do instead is to sit here, breathe through the discomfort, doubt and gremlin voices in my head telling me a story of value and worth, and learn about what I chose to allow. This is where I get the full benefits of the tension and release.


Where do you feel your source of tension that you’re tempted to armor up your heart or retreat to avoid the discomfort you really need to settle into.


Mine today is the dreaded dating app and the ghostly silence. Today I lean in, push through and breathe through the discomfort, to find that I may be more ready that I thought. That I may be more willing to let go than I thought. I’m going to leave my armor on the ground and let myself feel everything that comes along. I came across this song by India.Arie and it is all the feels, Ready for Love.


Settle in, breathe, find your edge. Sit there. Calm the panic to armor up or retreat. Focus. Reap the full benefits of the most pleasurable moments.


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